Last week I learned that my daughter has ADD. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve been calling her a space cadet since she was in preschool and would give me the wide-eyed look of bliss so characteristic of those who live entirely in their own heads. I’ve been working around, working with, and compensating for her distractibility all along. To me it’s no big deal.
Apparently it’s a different matter where the school system is concerned. They want me to get my doctor to write a letter that they would put in her file so she can be pigeon holed as an ADD kid. They want this badly. Five of them, spearheaded by my dd’s primary teacher, held a meeting with me which was designed and intended to pressure me into providing them with a doctor’s note to that effect.
They tell me this would be good for her because with the official classification they can change her curriculum. They would not answer the question of exactly how they would change it, except to say she would not be taken out of the classroom except for the gifted program she’s already in, and to hint they would reduce her workload.
I’m not so sure she should have her workload reduced. I do think the teacher needs to change a number of the ways in which she handles things, but not by cutting back on what they expect her to accomplish.
So I’ve got a question I’m hoping you can help me with. Should I give them the doctor’s note or not?
That was the main thing in my life lately. What’s up in yours?
![OMG ! [ Explore #1 ]](http://static.flickr.com/2631/4150305338_5dd4270c04_t.jpg "OMG ! [ Explore #1 ]")
I’m almost afraid to answer this in fear of being mobbed by angry parents and teachers who believe in this solution. I am certainly no expert but I feel strongly opposed.
I hate labeling. Every child learns differently and the negative connotations these labels bring, disturbs me. I think it’s a cop out for the school system. Why make kids feel there is something wrong with them? And to put them on drugs? I know, some will tell me that it has helped a lot of kids learn better. And in extreme situations maybe it’s necessary. But I can’t believe that’s the only solution for most of these children. How about some more creative and interesting teaching methods for all the kids?
You have to do what, in your heart, you feel is the best thing for your dd. But if she’s in the gifted program, what’s the problem? Why fix what isn’t broke?
Comment by Lara Lee — January 29, 2008 @ 1:57 am
Oh Alice, that is so hard to answer. I would not give them the letter until I knew exactly how that is going to affect her. Until they showed you how they handle other kids with the same problem. Maybe you should try to talk to other parents of kids in your school which are being treated as ADD kids.
My experience with my kids showed me that this kids do need a different approach. The problem here is that the schools expect all the kids to go through the same hoops. Follow the leader type thing and those who get behind are left behind.
Maybe she would do better with a different approach, but again, make sure you know what that will involve and that you agree with it.
At the end of the day, you really have to go with your gut feeling. Your instincts about the teachers and the school will be your best guide.
What ever happens I’m sure you will make the best decision for your dd. Good luck.
Comment by Anastasia — January 29, 2008 @ 3:54 am
She’s in the gifted program based on a previous year’s performance. This year it’s all A’s and F’s with the F’s getting more frequent. I suspect the fact she hates her teacher might have something to do with it.
Comment by aliceaudrey — January 29, 2008 @ 8:50 am
I would definitely ask for more information, speak to the parents of other ADD kids in the school, etc., before giving them the letter. I don’t have kids, but it seems to me that a letter *could* (teachers and administrators, please note that’s not concrete) make it easier to just paint her with the ‘ADD’ brush and not give her individualized attention.
Comment by Sara Dennis — January 29, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
That’s what I’m worried about. The teachers kept saying it needed to be on file before she started middle school because she would have so many different teachers to worry about. She has already shown she does best with a mixture of teachers. But having a letter on file seems likely to give any bad apples in the bunch and excuse to let her slide.
Comment by aliceaudrey — January 29, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
I don’t know Alice, I’ve seen kids who need meds and it work and others who don’t need them at all. The only reason I can see for the letter is funding, which in all honesty would your child actually see any benefit from that funding?
If she’s doing poorly more than likely it’s because she is overly BORED. If you look at dropouts many of them aren’t stupid many are in fact geniuses.
The problem with our school systems is that it has come down to car manufacturing. Kids are told how to think and what to think, they are told to learn a certain way. Not all kids are learn the same, some are kinesthetic, audio, etc.
Personally from what I’ve seen here is once the child is asked to be evaluated as ADD/ADHD then they are sent to a family guidance center where your child is labeled as having some sort of mental health issue. They at first go through a battery of tests and the child sees a psychologist specializing in ADD/ADHD to come up with the proper form of medication.
My experience is with ADHD, not ADD but seriously, these meds used to control ADHD zombieize kids. They end up having to go on blood pressure meds because they can’t sleep at night. And when they start seeing spiders crawling all over the ceilings, floors, and themselves and you can’t convince them otherwise, there’s something wrong with the meds.
I think you need to be fully informed before you make a decision as to whether or not to get that letter.
Comment by Chris — January 29, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
In some cases, a letter helps students with ADD/ADHD get additional help like extended time, focusing strategies, help with study skills, and copies of notes that good teachers would do anyway. Unfortunately, some teachers won’t do what’s best for a student until they’re required to. In these cases, a letter does help. However, since your daughter is gifted, she may also have ADD, but most gifted kids get bored easily and reducing her workload isn’t the answer. She most likely needs a varied instructional environment to engage her interest. Good strategies will get her back on track. Bottom line–you know your daughter and you know what’s best for her.
Comment by Maura — January 29, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
There’s no way I’ll medicate her. It isn’t in the offing. Luckily, her doctor agrees with me.
Will a letter help her get the varried instructional environment? That is exactly what she needs.
Comment by aliceaudrey — January 29, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
Ok, putting on my day job hat. This is what I’ve dealt with on and off for sixteen years. I’m a speech-pathologist, but these kiddos make up a fair amount of my caseload.
I’m not sure what the school is so excited about with this “note.” If she’s gifted, she has an IEP (individualized education plan), yes? The ADD label can go on the IEP that already exists. And let me tell you, that IEP is POWER for the parent. It allows you to request all the help your daughter is entitled to, and makes the school document and prove what is and isn’t working. It should also give you access to state and most definitely federal resources and parent advocates that make sure your daughter gets what she needs.
You need to always remember that you are a crucial part of the IEP team. They can’t make decisions without you , and if you don’t like their decisions you can request third part mediation.
Btw, IEP’s should have goals and objectives or benchmarks on them that explain exactly how and how often they are making changes to the classroom curriculum, who’s working with her, recommendations , etc. There should be no grey areas.
Good luck. School often seem to enjoy making this process difficult or mysterious, and it shouldn’t be.
Comment by Gillian — January 29, 2008 @ 10:42 pm